It has been awhile since my last post, but I thought I would post my resolutions (I never make resolutions) after I explain how a recent experience I had pushed me to resolve some things in 2009. Here goes:
I have a birthday that falls right after Christmas, but before the New Year (take a guess:). My past experiences or non experiences have made me loath my birthday. Usually it is forgotten by others all together or never whole heartedly celebrated due to its close proximity and unfortunate sandwiching between the other two holidays (Christmas and New Year's Day). This year was especially tough due to the stress of the economy and some other issues that I won't go into. I think this year has been particularly hard for most of us!
My birthday fell on a weekend this year and I thought maybe something (?); a night out, or some organized event might be planned on the part of my loved one, my friends or family to celebrate the day I was born. Nothing happened- literally. I spent my birthday at home watching movies. My best friend called to say she had been partying with friends and family since Christmas eve-eve and was pooped, but wished me a happy birthday just the same. I am not sure whether it was the hard year I've had, the state of the economy and world events, the holidays, or my general discontent due to my birthday; but it really made me angry that no one had acknowledged my existence on earth by honoring the day of my birth.
You see usually my girlfriends and I organize potlucks and we celebrate each others' birthdays, but all are born in the spring or summer months and not close to a holiday. The more I thought about it, the more I seethed. I avoided my friends' phone calls and my melancholy grew as I stewed in my own self pity. Finally my best friend caught me at my office. She asked why I hadn't returned any of her calls and I let her have it. I told her I thought she was an insensitive @#$&* and that she and everyone had hurt my feelings. She apologized profusely and said she felt terrible about it. I accepted her apology and felt a lot better having vented.
This is highly unusual for me to be so emotional- my temparment is pretty easy going and I pride myself on being able to suck it up. I usually hold my tongue when I am angry and let things go fairly easily. I tend to put the shoe on the other foot and put other's needs in front of my own, unless it goes against my personal ethics or morals.
A good friend once said to me, " you can be right or you can get along peacefully- ask yourself whether you can live with it". These are words I take to heart. There are a lot of issues that I can let go without much internal struggle. On a scale of one to ten for low to high maintenance- I would rate myself on the low end for sure.
Now to the point:
What happened as a result of me voicing my frustration, hurt and anger? My friends all showed up on my doorstep on January 2nd with a cake, gifts, and told me how special I was to them! I guess we all need to feel special sometimes- to have the people closest to us say, " we love you and honor your existence!"
What did I learn from my birthday (belated birthday celebration) and this year's dismal holiday season? A list of things I resolve to work on in 2009 follows:
- The smallest gestures speak volumes, so I need to spread the word~ own it, live it!
- Ask for the things that I really want and need- no one will read my mind and most people will not act without specifically being asked.
- Consider my feelings before others on occasion.
- When someone hurts my feelings or is being insensitive or inconsiderate- let them know in the most constructive way (this is the hard part: a} telling them - b} in a constructive way).
OK here is the typical stuff:
- Work out, lose weight, eat healthy and get more sleep.
- Be more efficient at work.
- network, network and network some more!
- Be more fiscally responsible: pay cash and buy what you need and not what you want- in the end that thing won't make you happy- what will is~ peace of mind and being debt free, so you have more freedom of choice and movement (both equally important to me).
- Finish my professional portfolio- continue adding to it!
- read something other than professional journals & articles, textbooks and books related to work; hey- how about a real novel!
- Spend more time with friends and family.
- Get rid of stuff you haven't looked at in 6 months!- Better yet- sell it!
- Get outside on a regular basis- regardless of the weather. Fresh air always lightens my mood!
- Go on strike once in while :) and make others do for themselves!
There ~ now I have released it out to the universe!
What are your resolutions for 2009?
Happy 2009 to All! and to all the best wishes for a great year!
